Has been a massive healing journey for me, finally voicing aloud not just online the toxicity of my relationship with my mother, her lies and secrets, her blame and belittling disguised as parenting. My desperate belief in her empty words.
My acceptance that the connection to abandonment existed long before the abuse I actually remember as a teen by my biological fathers hands! A trauma that I started healing from long ago.
Now finally I've come to terms with this sense of abandonment that it's because my mother isn't what I thought she was, many realised before I was able to accept it, I can not fathom being like that to my own children and she calls me the enemy because I believed my daughter over her son's narcissistic lies and cover up of the truth.
I deserved more than the mother she was to me
Its hard for me to be courageous enough to say that but I've finally accepted it to be true. I deserved to be loved!
This is me
My abandoned childhood and teen years do not define the person I am but it does give me a stubborn strength