I am my authentic self.
In writing, in person and online.
NOT the gossiping perceptions.
I take back control from those who try to dictate my truth.
I'm Introspective, introvert who spends time on healthy self-reflection, self-growth, self-healing and self-care, this is not to be mistaken for self-centered or selfish!
I am an empath, it hurts us too much to hurt others, like really bloody hurts! So being honest, authentic and speaking our truth is the biggest nessacary challenge in existence, because we feel the emotions of others, we KNOW AND FEEL our impact on others.
This is why distance is essential sometimes. This is why I usually chose to walk away and deal with the pain hurt and anger of others actions who are outside my circle than confront and discuss it with practical strangers projecting and launching and drowning me with their emotions!
I do not HIDE behind a keyboard, I am capable of saying everything I've typed - in person, I choose to only do so with my inner circle because I have healthy boundaries when it comes to the whole damn worlds projected emotions!
🚫 It's sensory overload! 🚫
I am socially selective!
I know my faults & mistakes, own them and grow from them.
I will always fight for what is right and call out what is wrong.
If I say I will do something or make a promise I will doggedly stick to my word.
I don't lie.
I am open minded and respect all views thoughts and feelings.
I can discuss almost any opinion or perspective if its done respectfully and maturly with mutual understanding, and openness to learn from one another and truly listen rather than just waiting turn to spew thoughts and feelings without hearing.
I need authentic deep understanding nitty-gritty friends who value friendship the same way!
Some people say "what you see is what you get" but they don't truly understand authenticity.
It's being you 100%, every person you encounter sees hears and feels that 100% authentic-self. To varying degrees of openness but always Authentic!
You can not people please and be authentic!
My authentic visual and written expression bellow;
Creativity with words or imagery comes from the raw truth of one's heart and soul.
To share creativity is to lay bare all the raw nitty-gritty truths in the deepest parts of our very being, our authentic self!
There is no greater honesty or integrity! Yet I live daily with the history of family members and other encountered persons calling me a liar, manipulative, deceitful, controlling, abusive, and cruel person. When I escape toxic family, tearing me to shreds with this toxicity, I still face others, some drowning in their own mental health hell too much to realize how toxic and cruel they are being. How damaging it is to be regularly told you are the opposite of the decent authentic human being you strive daily to be, a daily chioce, fighting the toxicity so it does not corrupt your perceptions and emotions. I am not fake! What I present myself as, is what I am, faults and all!
I do not gossip, I rant if I need to like most humans,
mostly to people I trust to respect my privacy, though I'm not perfect and make mistakes in trusting too easily and being betrayed!
I don't like conflict and I'm not inclined to solve conflict by confronting especially if there is a history of aggressive behaviour or being unheard.
Walking away is also a reasonable response to conflict.
If I post on social media its either due to social activism or the need to be heard.
For me Typing how I feel is just as honest as saying it to a persons face, those that remember accurately know that if I must spend precious energy saying in person what I write then I absolutely will and exactly as it was written!
What I write and what I can say in person is always 100% identical!
If I don't speak in person its often because I have more important things to spend my scarce residual energy on!
However I've learnt that it's other people that tend to pretend to be nice when I confront them in person and I see more cruel bravado through their written words! I do not need to prove myself!
I will however take back control of the narrative of my truth! Those that believe their own toxic perceptions of me will need to live in that reality without me! I am not responsible for what you perceive, I strive every second of my life, to uncover my truths, share with honesty my mistakes and work doggedly to correct those mistakes. I am a truth and knowledge seeker, always open to learning, believing in doing what is right, acknowledging the mistakes made regardless of good intentions.
I am not that little box you imagine of me in your head!
I exist outside your perceptions, real, human, flawed, with raw deep feelings.